Wednesday, May 31, 2006

If you have lemons, make lemonade

I'm grateful to my Mom & Dad for many things, not the least of which is always being SF Giants fans from the day the team arrived in 1958. They also stressed the importance of optimism, of seeing the bright side of unpleasant situations -- such as the Giants performance against a terrible Florida team, convincingly losing two games to pitchers with ERAs over 6.00.

For some unexplainable reason, the Florida Marlins have attained far more success than they deserve in their 13-year history -- much of it at the expense of the Giants. After I perused the box score after the game, noting two Niekro HRs and Vizcaino's dropping his average to .188 via a failed pinch-hitting appearance, I decided to type "Florida sucks" into the Google search and found a highly entertaining site called "Florida Sucks," which plays Stephen Foster's "Swanee River" when you call it up. The home page intro says "All you ever wanted to know about Florida --- that the state of Florida wishes you didn't."

Here's the site's list of why Florida sucks, in case you were thinking of moving to the state. And each has a well-written explanation --

-- The weather leaves a lot to be desired (just check out this years Hurricane season)
-- It is a very pedestrian unfriendly place
-- Florida's drivers have to be the worst ( check out insurance prices )
-- Floridas schools are rated among the worst in the country
-- Florida is a "Right to Work" state
-- Florida has NO labor protection laws!
-- It has some very draconian laws which could affect you
-- Florida can be a very racist place
-- Florida has no development guidelines, urban sprawl runs unchecked
-- It is populated by an unfortunately large amount of rude obnoxious boobs!
-- It is almost solely responsible for putting George Dubya in office, and it has another Bush Boob for a governor

I must admit that now I feel better, knowing that my contempt for Florida is entirely justified.


Blogger PEFACommish said...

On the other hand, Florida has no state income tax.

2:35 PM  

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